Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
