She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
