you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
