Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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