It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
