Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
