I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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