It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
