i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.