Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions