Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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