is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
