thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize