That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize