But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize