Will you blow on my dice?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
