Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize