in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
