i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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