she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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