she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
