id be glad to
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
