You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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