You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
