the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize