what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
