you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
