I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
