There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
