around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
