can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
