mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
