I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
thus making me awesome and them whores
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
