did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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