hotel room ftw
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Let's paint friendship bongs
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
