I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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