the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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