I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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