I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
