fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize