that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
