I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
