I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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