i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Still dying that you shit outside
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
