She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
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