marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I touched a dick in church today
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
