Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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