You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
