BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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