It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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