the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
