And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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