it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
