i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
