I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
