Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
