It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
jump out the window naked night went bad
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
