Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize