Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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