How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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