So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
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The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
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You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.