It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
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Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.