He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden