he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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