my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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