That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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