were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
