i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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